papenfussss.

I haven't gotten on here in a while.. and it seems like no one else has, either.
But, I figure I may as well put what's been going on down into words.

So, my Aunt Marianne moved to Denver about a week ago. It really sucks, because she was my favorite aunt. We saw her like, every week. And now we'll only see her on the big holidays-thanksgiving, christmas, easter, and maybe the 4th of july (since it's during summer and whatnot). At least I have my aunt on facebook, though. And my cousin has texting now, so I can talk to her still. It just won't be the same.
Also, around this same time, my mom told me that if she didn't find a job by the end of this month, then I was moving in with my grandma. And jessica was moving in with my Aunt Jen. And my mom was moving in with my grandpa.
This is really some of the most depressing news I've ever gotten... I've always had my family, through everything. The divorce, the abuse, the alcoholism, all the times we moved, the shitty apartment complexes, the drug-dealing neighbors, and the multiple schools.. and now it just seems like we could be broken up without any sort of trouble. Everything is planned out for the worst case scenario. And that scares me. I don't know what I'll do without my safety net.
ALSO, I've decided that I'm being extremely pathetic. Who cares if the person I like will never like me back? I can't compete anyway. So I'm giving up on that for now. Who needs a relationship in high school, anyway?

Oh, and apparently my dad has had strep throat and tonsilitis for the past week, and didn't feel the need to tell me. There's a problem with that.

 with corgi puppies.
i want one named boots.

la la la i haven't posted in forever. and my original plan was to get on here and talk about my cruise.
but i really don't feel like writing down everything that happened. you'll just have to take my word on it that it was absolutely beautiful. whenever i get pictures, i'll put them on facebook/photobucket.

like i do at the beginning of every summer, i stacked books on my desk which i will read over the course of these two months we have off from school. i am planning to start reading those tonight. that's actually how my sleep schedule gets so screwed up.. i read books and get so caught up that eventually i start to see daylight streaming through my blinds. it's quite scary, actually, how wrapped up i can get in books. it's like escaping to another world (if the writing is good enough)

today was actually really fun. i woke up at about 9, and then sat around for a while watching tv because my mom was taking some weird math test and i was waiting for her to finish so we could go shopping. jessica is graduating, and it's really throwing my emotions for a loop. i really wish i had been born further apart, because i know next year won't be the same. i mean, it'll be important. and there will be a party. but the whole feeling of the graduation.. it will be different. i won't have as many accomplishments as jessica, nor will i have the honors she did. true, her graduating class only had 28 kids in it, so she obviously stood out more, but i know it won't be the same. she's the first niece and grandchild to graduate from highschool in the papenfus and lynn families. i'll just be the second, the followup of my sister, who only did okay in high school. it just won't be the same. and every time i try and explain that to my mom, she has no idea where i'm coming from. she thinks it will be exactly the same. but whatever. i can't really dwell on the fact that i was born second. it's just a slight annoyance :)

ANYWAY. coming back from that extremely long tangent about graduation, my mom and i went shopping because she told me "i am going to buy you clothes until you feel happy" so, we went to the mall, the book store, target, ross, and then fry's. woo! i got a bra (oh my god i hate bra shopping. they got bigger! fuck my life.) and some tennis shoes. intense, i know.
i also got a composition notebook and some notecards for history/english. oh, if you haven't logged on to the TII thing, you probably should. discussion questions have been posted, and a list of like 30 terms you need to define are posted. then, i went over to tal's house, were we sat for a while and did nothing while we waited for nush to call back so we could go to her house and pick up Milk. eventually, she called back, and we went over to nush's house to pick up the movie and then to my house to watch the movie/eat dinner/chat with mr. hilliker. exciting, i know.

Milk was an amazing movie. I highly recommend it (unless, of course, you have a problem with the homosexual population. in that case, don't watch it. you wouldn't appreciate it at all). it was so inspirational, to see how much America as a whole has overcome. in the movie, there were actual clips of speeches and movements both for and against the gay community. it was seriously one of my top movie choices. i would watch it over and over. actually, i think i am going to buy it.

and then, Tal left. and now i'm writing this!
wooooo.

i'm going to go read Generation Me.
:D

oh wait. 
ANUSHKA MOHIDEEN.
if you are reading this.
we need to have an epic walk to PHP sometime this summer. i am for serious.

i've decided i don't give a flying fuck about opera, or the different types of vocal classifications a singer can have.
i don't care if ms. starr's voice is a light lyric coloratura.
i don't care about coloraturas, or lyrics, or spintos, or dramatic singers.
i don't care about Wagner, or Verdi, or Sherrill Milnes (a tenor lyric coloratura), or Beverly Sills (a soprano coloratura), or Kiri Tekanawa (a soprano lyric spinto).
i could give a crap that Wagner often calls for dramatic sopranos and tenors, because he used a lot of orchestra in his operas.
it is not necessary for me to know that the romantic roles in operas are mostly lyric coloraturas.
i will never need to remember that dramatic singers often use a lot of vibrato.
no one in life will ever ask me when a woman's voice matures, which is at the age of 36.
i will never  have to draw upon the knowledge of what a good cadenza sounds like.
and yet, my choir final is learning a bunch of random operatic terms, and then taking a big giant test on them.
*facepalm*
honestly, the only types of people who would need to learn this shit are the types of people who want to become singers for a career.
and i am not one of those people.

Final Tally!
Steel band final - nooo idea
Pre Calc Final - TOMORROW
English Final - a time capsule. seriously, wtf?
actually, this has inspired me to do another stupid rant.
okay, so i thought that in AMERICAN LITERATURE, we would read AMERICAN LITERATURE.
but so far, we have read three books, one of which was a play, and written a memoir.
in ten years, i am not going to look back on my life and be like "wow, it was so amazing. thank the lord ms. hennessy made me write about my life so i wouldn't forget one precious detail."
NO. i will probably be like "wow, what a gay ass assignment. this doesn't help me at all. i can not look back on this with a smile."
and then, after we write our stupid memoirs, we find out our final will have nothing to help prepare us for senior year. NO. instead, we're taking fucking shoe boxes and putting letters to our future selves, our future children, random quotes, pictures, and a letter from our parents to us in the box.
WE'RE MAKING A GOD DAMN TIME CAPSULE.
so so so so so pointless. i'd rather read a book and write a paper. then, i'd gain knowledge. instead of just a shoe box painted white and filled with crap.
anyway- back to the final tally!
Biology - DONE
Choir - stupid opera shit test
History - Next week D:

eek. i've been really bitchy lately. i'm sorry, guys.
i don't mean anything by it.
it's just what  happens at the end of the year, haha.

emily likes someone.
who will never like her back.
this kills my self esteem.
:P

in other news!
I'm really freaking out about the AP bio test.. 
I haven't been studying, at all.
And given my C average on all of Dr. Frank's tests.. I think I'll probably end up failing.
Disappointmentttt.
Also, my mom lectured me today because I threw up yesterday.
Which really doesn't make sense. She told me I should have been more prepared.
Why would I have known a migraine would randomly decide to kill me yesterday? It's not like they're on a schedule or anything.
MIGRAINES ARE NOT PERIODS. I can't predict them! Guh.

I feel proud of myself.
I got Colleen to get a livejournal.
But now she needs to post something. Just saying.

 emily broke up with josh!


just felt like sharing that with all of you.

so, this past week has been filled with tests and projects and homework galore.
i think i'm systematically killing myself as the days go by.

guh.

also, i think i'm going to break up with josh this week.
:P

btw, is there science club this week?
i never know if there'll be meetings or not.

we need to convince colleen to get a livejournal.

 okay. so i was looking up youtube videos, and somehow i started looking at pokemon live action trailers (which all really really sucked, btw)
and i was like, i miss that show.
so me, being the nerd i am, decided to see if i could watch episodes online.
AND I FOUND A WEBSITE TO WATCH ALL THE MOVIES AND ALL THE EPISODES OF ALL THE SEASONS!
</nerd>

in other news, i still haven't done any homework. nor have i studied.
but i made a decision regarding some things, and i'm going to do it.
:D

i have 1/5 bio worksheets done. and it's only noon. i can finish.
that is, if i don't randomly start watching pokemon movies.
which i'm tempted to do.

but i need to finish homework so i can pull weeds and clean, because i didn't have time to pull weeds yesterday.
D:

buuuut i need the money to get a concert ticket, so whatever.

back to homework!

i hate driving.
i'm backwards at it.

i rock at parking. i'm good at left turns.
i can't brake for shit, and i can't do right turns to save my life.
wtf?

and it's even worse when your mom is all LET'S DRIVE TO COSTCO AND THEN WALMART!
two of the most crowded effing stores everrrrr.

while i was at costco, i found out there was a brawl party. but i didn't go, because i didn't find out about it until too late.
so i went to my aunt's house for soup.

and i got muffins.. hahah.

i haven't done any homework this weekend. i don't even know if i had any..

this weekend was good :]
JAI HO.

 mr. gypton commented my rough draft and he basically said it sucked and to scratch it and rewrite the whole thing.
the only part of my paper he said was good was my thesis, because it was clear and decisive. so i guess i'm gonna keep the first paragraph and just.. rewrite everything else.
ugh.

now my grade in his class is a C

>.<
:/
D:
T_T
):
/wrist

^ emotions i am feeling right now

 i feel like crying.
shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.
>.<

buuuut on the bright side...
I GOT A 90/90 ON THE QUOTE JOURNAL I DID THE CLASS PERIOD BEFORE IT WAS DUE.
:D
i'm so awesome at BSing stuff.

also, i don't think i failed biology.

i'm sorry if i seem mean to you guys this week.
i'm pissed at everyone and i don't know why.

 my house keeps making noises
it's creeping me out >.<

god i'm such a pansy.
hahaha.

upcoming week:
Biology test - Wednesday, February 25
Rodeo days - Thursday, February 26 and Friday, February 27
Renaissance fair - Saturday, February 28
Book review rough draft - Monday, March 2
Steel band concert - Tuesday, March 3
Biology essay test - Wednesday, March 4
History discussion questions - Thursday, March 5
Book review final draft - Friday, March 6
English book final - Friday, March 6

busy, eh? Something due or something to do on every day of the week next week.
thankfully i'm not in AP lit.

 i epic faill.

guess who DIDN'T do their quote journal
:D?

and before you guys are all blah blah blah emily is irresponsible blah, let me explain.

i get home from science olympiad EXHAUSTED, so i promptly go to bed.
i am woken up the next morning at approximately 7 AM by my mother, who forces me to get dressed and run errands with her and jessica.
We then saw Slumdog Millionaire, and did various things involving going to walmart and home depot and the post office, etc.
i didn't get home until FRICKIN 7 O'CLOCK.
then, i couldn't find my book, and was frantically searching for it for like two hours until i realized it was in my science olympiad stuff
i got yelled at for not cleaning the bathroom
and then suddenly it was 11 and i still only had 5/30 quotes done.
it is almost 3 in the morning, and i still only have 5/30 quotes done.
i fail at life.

ohh movie review.
Slumdog Millionaire = one of the best movies i've ever seen.
none of y'alls have seen it so i can't really talk about it, but i recommend it. fersure.

alright. time for me to do my quote journal and then maybe get about a half hour of sleep!

gute nacht.

gosh i'm so lame.
so i watched Bruce Almighty, and at the end when he got hit by the truck and he was making the little speech to God about loving Grace, i CRIED.
but whatever, i needed a release, and apparently that's crying.
but now my nose is all stuffy >.<

the list of movies that make me cry is long and tiring. i think i should lock myself in a cage for 8 years.

in other news, while reading nush's post about her parrot, i realized that tomorrow's biology class will consist of:
me, tal, amanda, isaac, robin, marcus, and a sub.
m(_ _)m
actually, i don't even know if marcus is going to be there.
did he get accepted to sarsef?
*shrugs*
whatever.

but anyway. my agenda for tonight.

-Find something to sign for my ASL quiz tomorrow
-Finish reading Killer Angels
-Read some World War II book
-Shower
-Do laundry
-Sleep

...yeah, i'm gonna be up for a while.
:P

what's quixotic mean?

aahhh today has been so boring.
yesterday was so boring.

seriously, the highlights of my day were watching 6teen on youtube and talking to people on AIM/Facebook

i need to read my history book.

yeah!

 tal + emily = win at lifeeee

why do we win at life, you might ask?

we got a 95% on our science fair final report.
YEAH!

except, we shouldn't go to sarsef. because we kind of.. didn'tdoit.
hahh :D

in other news. i took the ACTs today.
English = Easy
Reading = Easy
Math = Medium
Science = WHATTHEFUCKWASTHAT?!

lulz.

ahh i'm happy.
this is amazing.

( famfam )

 myy favorite commercials from the superbowl :]

Pepsi Commercial

Doritos Commercial

Teleflora Commercial

:D

ahhh i love new commercials.

shame the cardinals lost, though.
:[

 i don't like how fast time is going..
it makes me feel slightly sick to my stomach
I'm afraid i'm going to lose you guys.
:[

On a lighter note, here's the classes i signed up for :D

AP Language
AP Government
AP Calculus
Honors Chemistry
Teacher's Aide (for hilly :DD)
LInk Crew

ohyess. oodles and oodles of advanced classes :]

 i am in desperate need of someone to gossip with.

today was fun, i went to tal's house to work on science fair, which we promptly did not work on and had a bonding day instead.
haaa.

interesting stuff happened.

and i just want to say, i'm really grateful for you guys.
it means so much to me that i have a group of friends who i can talk to about my problems, and about what's going right.
i'm so glad i can confide in you guys, and that i can trust you with all of my secrets.
and i know i can be annoying at times (or all of the time)..
but it really means a lot that you can look past that and see the good side of me, not the crazy neurotic depressed person i sometimes am.
i love you guys <3

 my agenda:

monday - thursday: working on science fair
monday - thursday: trying to study for history

...

i don't know how well that's going to work out.

my hope is that tal and i can bs science fair in two days (monday and tuesday, or tuesday and wednesday, or monday and wednesday, or wednesday and thursday, or monday and thursday, or tuesday and thursday) and then the other two days i can study for history midterm numero uno.

*confetti*

but other than that, i think this week will be a good week :]

i've decided that this week will be a good week.

and as i'm sitting here writing this, i'm looking at an advertisement for weird flash drives.

i'm going to take a screen shot and put it on here, just because they're weird looking flash drives.

flashdrivesss

i think i have a fever..
i'm going to go to bed.